A Girl's Best Friend Read online

  Her door creaked open and his heart stopped at the look in her wide eyes. He stepped inside and wrapped his fingers around her upper arms. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” She pulled away, twisting her pajama bottoms between her fingers and not meeting his gaze.

  No, she wasn’t. Every protective instinct inside him went on high alert. His gaze swept the apartment, looking to see if something was out of place. Everything looked fine—until he glanced at what was on the television. It was the news coverage of the bank robbery gone wrong he’d just been at. Sacramento SWAT officer in critical condition trailed across the bottom of the screen. Now he understood the terrified look on Lorna’s face. Shit. “You shouldn’t be watching that. It’ll just make you crazy, baby.”

  She sniffled and stepped further away from him. “I usually don’t, not when I know you’re on duty. But I needed some background noise tonight…and it was on every station.”

  “Lorna—”

  “Are you all right? I—it didn’t say who all was hurt, or if that one officer was the only casualty.”

  He wanted to reach for her, but the way she stiffened held him back. “It was a guy on my team. The new rookie made a mistake and Brandon stepped in to save the kid’s ass and got shot. He should pull through.”

  Her breath escaped on a ragged sigh. “His poor wife.”

  His shoulders went rigid. Wariness flooded him. “He may never walk again, so I’m thinking his wife has fewer problems right now than he does.”

  She waved her hand. “You think his wife isn’t freaking out right now? That his job doesn’t affect her as much as it does him? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

  Anger flashed somewhere deep inside him, like a dam had ruptured and the feeling rushed over him. This was his worst nightmare come to life again. Only it was with Lorna, the one woman he trusted with his life. His best friend. His fists balled at his sides and he spoke slowly, deliberately. “You’re sounding just like Sherona.”

  “What the hell do you expect? You have a dangerous job where people die, and your loved ones have to pick up the pieces. And let’s not lie about this, either. You aren’t in SWAT just because you like to help folks, you’re also there because you’re an adrenaline junkie. You’re addicted to the thrill, and that means you don’t always think about how your job affects the people around you. Like me and your brothers and parents.” Squeezing her eyes closed for a moment, she didn’t manage to hide the sheen of tears there. It hit him hard, seeing her in pain. Her lips compressed into a flat line. A frisson of panic—of dread—wound through him when she spoke again. “It’s just a matter of time until something happens to you, too, isn’t it? You’re not invincible. We have to cope with that, not just you.” She shoved a hand through her hair. Hair he’d wound his fingers through just the night before. How had things gone from such a bright promise to this?

  His breath hissed out as the painful truth rocketed through him. Something in him shriveled and died. His lips felt numb, like they didn’t want to form the words. “You can’t handle it. I thought since we’ve known each other so long, it would be different with you. But it’s not.”

  “I was just worried, and you need to see that it’s okay for me to be worried about you.” She hugged her arms around herself. “Worrying doesn’t make me weak, Tyrone. It doesn’t have anything to do with handling or not handling your job, it means I care. But you don’t even see that, do you? You’re so wrapped up in all the shit Sherona put you through that you’re blowing this out of proportion.”

  “But it’s just a matter of time until something happens to me, right? You don’t trust me to take care of myself, to carry out my duties safely. I’m not some Rambo jackass, Lorna. I’m a trained professional.” He rubbed the back of his neck, just wanting this over with. His mind still spun from the events of the day, his friend being shot, the floor of the bank splattered with Brandon’s blood. No one on SWAT liked to think about the dangers of the job. It made them sloppy. It made them scared. Fear could focus an officer, hone his senses to the sharpness of blades, but if he thought too long about how badly he could be injured and what getting hurt would do to his family…well, he was done. That was when burnout happened. When an officer was so torn up over the stress of his job and how that stress affected the people he loved, then it was time to retire and become a desk jockey. And Tyrone wasn’t ready for that. He was good at his work, he liked it.

  Maybe it wasn’t meant to happen for him—finding someone. He’d made that decision when things had gone south with Sherona, but Lorna had given him hope. She’d known him before he was SWAT, had been his friend since then…he’d assumed she could deal with it, that she had been dealing with it for years. Now she wanted to get pissed about him being an adrenaline junkie? Now she wanted to call him insensitive? It was just like Sherona. Things went just fine and then suddenly his job made him an asshole. It was too much the same, he couldn’t even think beyond that. The same. And over way too soon. Lorna didn’t even see that, though. She wanted to claim he was overreacting. He didn’t think so. He snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. “And am I really blowing this out of proportion? Then why have you been running since this morning? Let’s be real, Lorna. You don’t want to be with me because I’m SWAT.”

  Those tears welled in her eyes again, threatening to spill over. Frustration settled over her face like a mask. “It’s nothing like that, Tyrone. I’m not the girl for you. We’re just friends, and I’m—you know what I look like!”

  He jerked his chin to the side. No way was he letting her get away with that. “Yeah, I do know. And you’re the only one who has a problem with it. You’re using that as a lame excuse. We both know what’s going on here.”

  She shook her head so hard her hair flew around her in a burnished cloud. Her arms folded tighter around herself. “It’s easy to overlook stuff when the sex is good, but we both know you’ll end up with someone who looks like Sherona. Not one who acts like her, but one who looks that good.”

  “You’re not even hearing what I’m saying.” His fingers reached out to close around her bicep.

  She shook her head again. “You’re the one who’s not listening.”

  “Why did you even agree to sleep with me in the first place? I didn’t force any of this on you.” The numbness was wearing off and the anger came roaring back, fueled by disappointment. In himself for hoping, in her for not fulfilling those hopes. “So what was I? Some fuckfest on the way to Mr. Right? Now you can settle down with some boring office type you think can deal with your weight, and I was just a bad decision you made along the way.”

  Her eyes rounded. “Don’t say it like that. You’re making it sound ugly.”

  “I call it like I see it, Lorna.” He gave a tight shrug. “You know that. And I’m not looking to be your mistake. Friends don’t do that to each other.”

  Now rage sparkled in her gaze, and she poked a finger at his chest. “And who the hell are you to make me feel guilty, Mr. No Strings Attached? You expect me to believe this is so deep and permanent for you? You don’t do serious since Sherona. Everyone knows that.”

  “Not serious, huh? How’s this for not serious?” He shoved his hand into his jacket pocket, pulled out something small, and shoved it into her palm. It sparkled in the lamplight. He watched her breath catch when she recognized it. The diamond ring she’d loved so much at the photo shoot. Some piece of insanity had made him stop off at Carraway’s this afternoon and ask about it. They had one in her size. He hadn’t even known why he was buying it, when he would give it to her, but in a moment of sheer clarity he realized that she was the only woman for him. Whatever excuses he had burned away, and he knew he was so deeply in love with her that he’d never escape. And he didn’t want to.

  He thought he could ease her into it, but now he wasn’t so sure. If she couldn’t live with him on SWAT, then she wasn’t the woman he thought she was. Bitter pain swamped him so fast
it made his teeth lock. He couldn’t even think past the agony ripping through his chest.

  “Tyrone, I—” Her breath escaped in a rush.

  “Yeah. I was planning to sit down and tell you I want us to be together for the rest of our lives. I want us to be friends and lovers until we’re old and gray. Stupid of me, right?” Damn her for making him love her. And damn him for setting himself up for this.

  Tears welled up in her eyes, a deep misery he didn’t understand stamped on her face. But he knew it was his fault. “I just…I never thought…”

  “I just realized something though.” He shrugged and turned away, so she couldn’t see his eyes. Couldn’t see how badly this hurt him. “It’s always going to be something, isn’t it? We’re always going to let something get in the way. Your weight, our friendship, my job. I was ready to try, but you aren’t. This isn’t what you want, baby. I’m not who you want. I get it…I finally get it.”

  And then he did the hardest thing he’d ever had to do in his life. He walked away from the only woman he could ever love. If he stayed, he’d only cause her pain like he had Sherona, but he didn’t think he’d ever recover if Lorna loved him and left him.

  He had to save his best friend from himself.

  * * *

  Diamond’s bark sounded from the doorway of the warehouse. Lorna spun around, her heart pounding. Was he here? Had he come? She had no idea what she would say to him, but she wanted to see him so badly it pulled at her very soul. The way they’d left things last night had shredded her. She’d lain awake all night, torturing herself with the details of their fight. They’d argued before, but not like that. Not the kind of parting that felt like forever.

  What would she do without him? He was her rock. How could she live with a part of her suddenly ripped away? And not by death, but by her own actions. She’d said he was going to be injured someday—as though it was inevitable that he end up the way his teammate had, broken and fighting to survive. She knew that wasn’t true, no matter how dangerous his job was. His father was proof of that. He’d been on SWAT for years before he’d been promoted out of the teams. She wanted to kick herself. God, she was so stupid. She’d been so freaked out about what had happened between them, she hadn’t even thought about how it might affect him that his friend had just been hospitalized. Not the best time for a relationship-defining argument. And she’d called him insensitive. She’d said he overreacted. Yeah, it was all him. She had no part in that totally screwed up mess. You’re a hypocrite, Lorna.

  She wove through the people crowding the photo shoot to try to see him. He would be taller than almost everyone here. Please let him be here. She needed to talk to him so badly, needed to fix things between them. Diamond barked again and she stepped around a couple of models, hope making her heart hammer. If he was here everything would be all right. They would work this out, get back to where they’d been before all this started. Somehow.

  She needed him so much. She would do anything to make it better. A day of recklessness shouldn’t kill over a decade of friendship. They just needed to pretend this was all one big nightmare. It would all be okay then. It had to be.

  Her gaze landed on Marion Forrester standing with Tyrone’s Dalmatian on a leash. Disappointment flooded Lorna until she almost whimpered from the pain of it. Tears pressed at her lids as she approached Tyrone’s mother.

  Marion dropped Diamond’s leash and held out her arms. Lorna hurried forward to bury her face in the older woman’s shoulder. Marion steered them outside and away from the crowd. Lorna tightened her grip, inhaling the familiar comfort of the other woman’s magnolia perfume. “He said I couldn’t take it. His job. I freaked out on him last night. He was so mad. We’ve never fought like that before. Never.”

  “Oh, sugar. Fighting is part of loving. And if he wasn’t terrified of hurting you, he wouldn’t have been so angry. He’s a man. And I don’t know a single one of them who deals with fear well.” Marion sighed and stroked back Lorna’s hair.

  Lorna choked on a watery laugh. “I’m so mixed up. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

  The older woman kissed her temple. “You love him. You’ve been friends for a long time. Too long, I think. You got comfortable and both of you were so wrapped up in your own fears that you never took that next step.”

  “Until now.” Lorna pulled back to stare at her. Weren’t they supposed to be comfortable with each other? But it meant never having more, having the deeper connection she’d felt when they were together physically. Maybe the price of comfort was too high.

  “And now you’re scared you’ll lose the friend and the lover.”

  She pressed her lips together to stop the quiver. She would not cry anymore. “I think I already did.”

  Marion patted Lorna’s arm. “I saw him this morning, sugar. He’s hurting as much as you are right now. But let me tell you, it’ll never be the way it was. It’s too late for that. You can’t be just friends anymore.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of.” Lorna winced. Hadn’t she just been thinking they could go back to that? Hearing Tyrone’s mother say it out loud, she could tell how foolish a thought it had been. Fundamental changes had occurred in their relationship. And God, Tyrone had bought a ring for her. But what did she want? She’d been so busy trying to stuff them back into the same old box that she hadn’t stopped to consider whether or not she still wanted to be in that box.

  Marion caught Lorna’s face between her palms, forcing her to meet that dark, knowing gaze. “Listen to me, sugar. You can’t be just friends anymore. But you can be a lot more. If you dare. You have to have the guts to reach out and take what you want.”

  “I don’t—”

  “He’s in love with you, you know.” Marion hammered her point home, not letting Lorna interrupt. “He’s been in love with you for years.”

  “I know.” And she did know. She’d lied to herself about the hot lust mixed with sweet emotions she’d always seen in his gaze. What if he never looked at her like that again? God, she’d messed everything up.

  Because she was scared. He was right about that. His mom was right, too. She was afraid to let go and believe that he could find her attractive, that he could love her just as she was. Not prettier or skinnier or anything other than what she was. Sweet warmth filled her at the thought. She’d never imagined finding anything as amazing as that from any man, let alone one who rocked her world the way Tyrone did.

  She loved him. And not just as a friend. She was in love with Tyrone. The truth hit her hard, made her sway. It was terrifying and so wonderful she couldn’t breathe for a moment. Oh. Holy. Jesus.

  She’d let her fears get in the way of something precious. She’d let his fears push her away. If she hadn’t been so wrapped up in her own baggage, she would have seen his anger for what it really was. Fear. Fear of hurting her, of her walking away like Sherona had done. Fear of her hurting him, too.

  A wry smile tipped up her lips. “We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”

  “I’ve always thought so.” Marion bent to pick up Diamond’s trailing leash as the dog trotted outside and handed it to Lorna.

  “I have to fix this.” She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders.

  “Yes, you do. I know for a fact he’ll be home at six o’clock because I’m supposed to drop Diamond off then.” Marion tilted her wrist up to glance down at the face of her watch. “I’ve just remembered I have a conflicting appointment. You’ll take care of it for me, won’t you, sugar?”

  They shared a wicked, purely female smile. “Of course.”

  “I knew I could count on you.”

  Lorna reached out for a hug. “Thank you.”

  Marion squeezed her tight and whispered in her ear. “Oh, this comes with strings attached. I expect grandchildren out of this.”

  Renewed tears smarted Lorna’s eyes at the thought of having Tyrone’s babies. It was a beautiful thought. She hoped they were like him, with his eyes and his determination. And he
r heart skipped a beat when she thought of all the naughty, creative ways that Tyrone could come up with to conceive those babies.

  “I have to make a quick stop after I leave work, but I’ll be at his house on time.” She had some shopping to do—something she knew would bring Tyrone to his knees. She would need all the advantage she could get.

  Marion smoothed a hand down her elegant chignon. “He won’t make it easy for you. Remember, he’s just as scared as you are. Even if he’ll never admit it.”

  Lorna nodded. She and Tyrone were both terrified to mess this up. They had already messed it up, but it was worth the risk, loving a man like him. Her fingers dipped into her pocket to clench around the ring he’d left at her apartment last night.

  She had to fix this.

  He was right. About everything.

  Chapter Four

  She was right. About everything.

  The thought had echoed in Tyrone’s head all day. Even now, as he tried to keep up with his older brother in a less-than-friendly game of basketball, there was no pushing Lorna from his mind. All Tyrone had done today was go through the motions, and try to burn off as much of his agony as possible.

  Eli grunted as Tyrone drove an elbow into his gut, snatched the ball away, and lobbed it toward the hoop. He missed.

  Figured.

  Even a perfect, sunny day at the park did nothing to lift his mood. He hadn’t wanted to come here, but had had no ready excuse when his older brother showed up with a basketball. Sweat poured down Tyrone’s face, and he grabbed the bottom of his shirt to swipe at it. There was a bit of blood on the fabric. Yeah, the game had gotten a little rough. His fault, if he were honest. He’d pushed his brother too hard, too far.